Swingers Party Etiquette
These guidelines are to help you enjoy any Swingers Parties that you may be invited to.
Relax and get acquainted
When at a swinging house party, you are there to enjoy yourself with other people who also enjoy the swinging lifestyle.
Once you have become familiar with the surroundings and your host/hostess, try to relax as you would be at any other social gathering. Don’t hesitate to introduce yourselves to other people. You’ll find most of them eager to welcome you and to help you get to know the other people at the party.
Join The Conversation
Some people will probably “break the ice” by introducing themselves, along with other couples they know. It’s their way of making you feel at home. Feel free to join their conversation and you’ll find that most of them will be happy to answer any questions you may have about the “swinging” lifestyle. Be open and honest. Tell them that you are new to “swinging” and you’ll discover how helpful people can be.
On your first venture into the swinging scene, you may feel somewhat uneasy about seeing your mate with someone else. This is normal, but also exciting.
Some swingers want to share their adventures with their mate and feel uneasy having their mate leave to another room with someone. They may prefer that they are in the same room with their partner while they play. Both partners may want to be involved which can be a 3some or 4some.
Be accepting of other peoples choices, everyone at the party has their own reasons for being there.
Treat everyone with respect. The other guests are all there for fun. No one should go to a party thinking they are guaranteed sex. Sex is never guaranteed at any swingers event. All the guests are there to have fun, but no-one is there to have sex with you!. You have to flirt, and talk and charm people until someone finds you attractive and interesting enough to go to a room with.
While you are advised to be friendly and outgoing, don’t be Pushy. Many couples who are new to swinging often have unrealistic expectations and are not prepared to handle the rejections that may sometimes occur.
Freshly showered, perfumed, and neatly dressed people make more friends than people who have not washed and are in dirty clothing.
No one is perfect, and it is common for new swingers to see other guests as more attractive or more outgoing than themselves. Don’t let your own mind be your worst enemy. Be prepared to handle rejections but don’t take the rejections personally.
It is important to remember that Personal Choice is the right of every person at the party and to respect that right is good manners. Learn how to accept “No Thank You” graciously. Your attitude, which should be the same as it would be at any social setting, is a major factor to you being accepted as a desirable swinging partner/friend.
Swinging runs on mutual attraction. If you do not find someone attractive you should not play with them.
There are several reasons why people may choose not to “Play” with you:
- No Physical Attraction – It is important that people are attracted to each other.
- No Mental Attraction – Mental Attraction can be as important as physical attraction.
- You are not part of a Fantasy – Many couples at swingers parties are acting out their fantasies. If you do not fit into their fantasy they will decline to play with you.
- Are you clean and smart? – Unless the other people are looking for “a bit of rough” most people are looking for partners who look and smell nice.
- You are being to pushy – Although you should be open and chatty, do not take over the conversation listen as much as you talk, ask questions and listen to the answers.
Handle rejection gracefully, if you accept and move on you will be regarded as polite and a good guest and recieve future invitations. Making a fuss about being rejected will make you a bad guest who may not be invited again in the future.
There are several variations to “swinging” and it is important that you and your mate decide, in advance, those which you like and dislike. Some couples prefer to be alone, while others prefer to be with other couples. Establish your own ground rules, but please decide on them BEFORE you start “swinging”.